Hello loves!
So as you can probably tell from the title of this post, it's all about change and how things mightn't always play out to your expectations- yet still for the better.
In June I did my Irish Leaving Certificate. Upon completing that, I had intended to pursue a career in primary school teaching, once getting the required high points. It was something I have always (or believed so anyway) that I wanted to pursue since I was a child of 7. Sounds crazy, doesn't it? Knowing what you want since you were so young ? Well, it is. Thing is, life changes us, so do experiences and so does being exposed to more whether its people or places. So throughout my last year in school, I began to second think my career while looking at colleges. It went a bit like this - Art and Design? No, its an 'unstable' and an 'in-low demand job'. Architechture? No, just fascinated by it but couldn't study it.
Then we came to business. Something which is quite interesting to me- particuary the marketing and advertising sectors. But as a girl who always believed she was meant to be a teacher for several reasons, I didn't proceed to look into business. I had never studied it in school and thought it was incredibly delusional of me to think I could pursue it as a career. What would people think ? The girl who always blabbed on about being a teacher suddenly didn't want it? Well, that doesn't make sense, does it? So I convinced myself that the stress and workload were just making me overthink what I wanted and that I would still love to become a teacher in college.
So I was accepted into college to become a Bachelor in Education. I was so incredibly excited for the college life- the studying, the new friends, the city life and even the 'teacher-esque' outfits. But after the first talk in orientation, I came to realize I talked about everything but the course content and how thrilled I was about being a teacher in the making. On top of that, transport to my college was a essentially- well a bitch. A two-hour commute and a 15-minute walk. Now I know it might not sound so bad to everyone, but to me, it was exhausting especially considering how energy and work demanding my course was. The following week lectures started, and let me tell you I didn't feel any more ecstatic, in fact, I had reached a peak of anxiety and unhappiness that I hadn't felt in a while. Yet I was still too overwhelmed by this sudden change of emotions to confront myself and my parents about my decisions. But then, even my mother noticed my deteriorating character and lack of enthusiasm towards my everyday life.
Following my second day of lectures, I was drinking coffee while on the phone to my mom at the bus stop, and she asked me, 'do you want to drop out ?'.
Believe me, never had I thought such words would make me so happy. Yes, I did let out a cry of distress and disappointment because I was leaving college and taking an unplanned GAP year, however I didn't even second doubt my decision to withdraw from the course whatsoever- in fact, I did it the next day. Many thought it was psychotic and dumb. I can understand why, but regardless it didn't phase me much as I was blessed with the endless support of my family and closest friends and I had aspirations to fulfill this time around.
So now here I am, yes I would be more content with being in college now BUT you know what they say, ''everything worth having is worth the wait''. Waiting to do a course that excites me and will allow me to have the creative career I crave is something I'm willing to be patient for.
So I hope you guys enjoyed this personal post, feel free to share, like and comment if you've had a similar experience! More fashion and beauty related content on your way so don't forget to follow my blog.
Habiba x
